Emulating Prophet Muhammad SAW: On Marriage & Spouses

When we look at our relationship with our spouse or even our friends’ relationships, can we spot whether it is a loving one or a toxic one? Sometimes it’s obvious, but we are often unable to spot the red flags until it’s too late.

There are also cases where one party knows they are facing abuse but is being gaslighted into thinking they are at fault or that the one abusing them will change. For example, a wife is afraid to go against her husband’s unreasonable commands because it is an “unislamic” thing to do.

But when we look at the life of Prophet Muhammad s.a.w, we can see that the statement could not be further from the truth.

His relationships with his wives were based on mutual love and respect.

Throughout his life, Prophet Muhammad s.a.w. treated his wives the way they should be treated. They were gratified by his presence, tenderness, affection, and the love he provided to them was second to none. The Quran perfectly encapsulates the tranquillity and respect in marriage:

وَمِنْ ءَايَـٰتِهِۦٓ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُم مِّنْ أَنفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَٰجًا لِّتَسْكُنُوٓا۟ إِلَيْهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُم مَّوَدَّةً وَرَحْمَةً ۚ إِنَّ فِى ذَٰلِكَ لَـَٔايَـٰتٍ لِّقَوْمٍ يَتَفَكَّرُونَ
“And one of His signs is that He created for you spouses from among yourselves so that you may find comfort in them. And He has placed between you compassion and mercy. Surely in this are signs for people who reflect.”
Surah Ar-rum (30:21)

His first wife, Khadijah r.a., was his source of emotional and spiritual comfort. It was Khadijah r.a. who instilled confidence in him when he received the first revelation. It was in her that he sought support and strength throughout his quest in uplifting humanity.

His wife, Aisyah r.a. was the one he spent his last days with and throughout their marriage, Prophet Muhammad s.a.w. treated her in a very gentle and romantic way. They played together, drank from the same spot of the cup, and constantly exchanged sweet words.

The Prophet s.a.w. also uplifted the status of women from that of being the property of men to that of equal status in the society with accorded rights and dignity. The Prophet s.a.w. paid special attention to the women in his society, who previously had been denied any rights, freedom and space. He was patient and kind towards them and listened to their plight.

Several women had come to him inquiring about the issue of divorce (khula), including the wife of Thabit ibn Qay.

The wife of Thabit ibn Qays came to the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and said,

“O Messenger of Allah, I do not reproach Thabit ibn Qays in respect of character and religion, but I do not want to be guilty of showing anger to him.” (Her meaning was that although Thabit was a good man, she could not get along with him and thus might not be able to show him the respect due to a husband.) The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) asked her about what she had received from him. She replied, “A garden.” He asked, “Will you give him back his garden?” “Yes,” she said. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) then told Thabit, “Accept the garden and make one declaration of divorce.”
Reported by al-Bukhari and an-Nasa’i

Marriage is a sacred bond that brings together a man and a woman under the teachings of the Qur’an and the Sunnah.

Nobody would want a divorce without any good reason. Therefore, the separation between a man and his wife [without just cause] was considered one of the significant and grave sins and one of the most beloved actions of Satan, as was narrated in several hadiths.

Just as a man must never divorce his wife to bring harm upon her without reason, it is also forbidden for a woman to ask for a divorce without a sensible explanation. However, she is still allowed to ask for a divorce for an acceptable reason.

“The woman who cannot bear to live with her husband has the right to free herself from the marriage bond by returning to her husband the mahr (required marriage gift) and gifts he has given her, or more or less than that according to their mutual agreement. It is, however, preferable that he should not ask for more than he has given her. Allah Almighty says: “…And if you (the judges) fear that the two may not be able to keep to the limits ordained by Allah, there is no blame on either of them if she redeems herself (from the marriage tie by returning all or part of the mahr)…”
Al-Baqarah: 229

So to conclude, I just want to emphasise that husbands and wives should emulate the relationships of Nabi SAW and his wives. And if you are in a relationship where you are being harmed physically or mentally, don’t be afraid to leave it because society says it is “unislamic” to do so.

Learning in Islam

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If any of you listeners are like us, working adults, wives and mothers, you will understand how we feel when we say we are ALWAYS tired. If you’re like me, you will say you simply have NO TIME.

So between juggling all our daily activities, we still have to keep learning because the first revelation received by Prophet Muhammad sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam, is:

“Read in the name of the Lord, Who is the Creator, Who created the whole universe and everything in it. Recite: and your Lord is Most Generous, Who taught by the pen, taught man what he did not know.”
Surah Al-‘Alaq 96:1-5

I guess my experience with learning when I was younger is working while studying for a part-time degree, travelling from one end of Singapore to the other, taking several public transports just to get to school and then back home.

Then when older, having to keep myself awake on Friday nights for Quran classes. Eventually, I stopped for certain reasons but of course, even with Tadabbur the learning never stops.

So if you feeling weary and unmotivated to learn, there are 4 pieces of advice by Syaikh Muhammad bin Shalih Al-‘Utsaimin, a Saudi Arabian scholar, when seeking knowledge.

Firstly, whoever seeks knowledge will indeed get a reward, and they are included in the words of the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam,

لَكَ ا لْتَمِسُ لْمًا، لَ اللهُ لَهُ ا لَى الْجَنَّةِ
“Whoever follows a path to seek knowledge, Allah Ta’ala will make easy for him the path to heaven.”
HR. Muslim no. 2699

For some people who studies overseas, they will have endured the weight of travelling (long distances), separated from their families and hometowns. But inshaallah Allah will make it easy for them.

Two, someone who trains (accustoms) himself to endure difficulties while studying is a form of ibadah that draws him closer to Allah Ta’ala. Because it is included in the word of Allah Ta’ala,

ا ا الَّذِينَ ا اصْبِرُوا ابِرُوا ابِطُوا اتَّقُوا اللَّهَ لَعَلَّكُمْ لِحُونَ
“O you who believe, be patient and strengthen your patience and stay firm in your faith and fear Allah, so that you may be successful.”
SuraH Ali ‘Imran 3:200

Three, You will benefit from the knowledge gained, but (more important are) the benefits of practicing and (changing) morals. Because the purpose of having knowledge is to put it into practice. It is not the intention of knowledge as an argument (hujjah) to show people you are better than them.

It is obligatory on you to do good deeds with all the authentic knowledge that has reached you, so that it is useful, stuck and solid in your hearts. Therefore it is said,

العلم العمل، اب لا ارتحل
“Knowledge calls for practice. If the call is welcomed, knowledge will remain. But if the call is not answered, knowledge will go away.”

This saying is true. Because if you practice your knowledge, then it will strengthen knowledge and be more useful. Verily, Allah Ta’ala will add to you knowledge, light, and also blessing.

Fourthly, students who seek knowledge, when seeking knowledge, should help their brothers according to their abilities and have no ill will towards them. Don’t say, “If I teach him knowledge, I’m afraid he will become more knowledgeable than I am.” In fact we say, “If you teach your brother, you become more knowledgeable than him.” Because Allah Ta’ala has given you knowledge that you did not know before.

There is a hadith from the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam, he said,

اللهُ الْعَبْدِ ا انَ الْعَبْدُ
“And Allah will always help His servant when His servant helps his brother.”
HR. Muslim no. 2699

If you help your brother by teaching him a problem (chapter) of knowledge, Allah Ta’ala will help you by teaching him other knowledge that You do not have. So don’t be jealous with your brothers, spread knowledge among them, want for them as you want for yourself.”

When seeking knowledge, we should choose an appropriate time for learning. Choose an appropriate method for studying at that time. Because putting something out of place is a waste of time and a waste of energy. The following are some advice of the Salaf scholars regarding this matter.

“The best time for memorizing is the time of sahur, in the middle of the day, then in the morning. Memorizing at night is better than during the day. And a time of hunger is better than a time of fullness”.
Al Faqih wal Mutafaqqih , 2/103

Imam Ibn Jama’ah said,

“(including a student of knowledge) is to divide the time of night and day, and take advantage of his age. Because the remaining life is priceless to him. The best time for memorizing is sahur, morning for research, midday for writing, and night for studying and mudzakarah (repeating)”.
Tadzkiratus Sami’ wal Mutakallimin

Hope this helps in your learning journey!

Importance of Good Influence (for your child)

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What the Quran says

In Surah Al-Furqan, verse 25-29, it says:

And ˹beware of˺ the Day the wrongdoer will bite his nails ˹in regret˺ and say, “Oh! I wish I had followed the Way along with the Messenger!

Woe to me! I wish I had never taken so-and-so as a close friend.

It was he who truly made me stray from the Reminder after it had reached me.” And Satan has always betrayed humanity.

The company we keep says a lot about us. Friends have a tremendous influence over how we behave, think and even feel. This verse comes to us as a warning to be careful of the type of people we choose to be our friends.

At the time of the Prophet sallal-lāhu ‘alayhi wasallam there were two friends among the polytheists named ‘Uqbah and ‘Ubay. Whenever ‘Uqbah returned from a journey he used to prepare food and invite people to share in the meal. Though he had not accepted Islam, he still liked to go to the Prophet (s) and be with him.

One day as usual when he prepared the meal to share, he invited the Prophet (s) as well. When the food was ready to be served, the Prophet (s) told ‘Uqbah, I will not eat your food unless you testify to the unity of Allah and my mission. ‘Uqbah agreed.

Upon hearing this news, his friend ‘Ubay expressed his anger and disappointment and convinced him to stand against the Prophet (s) and insult him. ‘Uqbah listened to him and apostatized. ‘Uqbah was killed in the battle of Badr, and ‘Ubay was killed in the battle of ‘Uhud. This verse was one of three verses that were revealed to explain the destiny of a man who had a friend who influenced him and caused him to go astray.

Parable on friendship

In the Hadith, Abu Musa reported: The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “The likeness of a righteous friend and an evil friend, is the likeness of a (musk) perfume seller and a blacksmith. As for the perfume seller, he may either bestow something on you, or you may purchase something from him, or you may benefit from his sweet smell. And as for the blacksmith, he may either burn your clothes, or you may be exposed to his awful smell.”

The above hadith meant that if we are in the company of good people or friends, we’ll tend to follow his/her good character and are influenced by their good habits. If you’re hanging out with a good companion, it is equivalent to being friends with a perfume seller, you’ll smell good, pleasant and naturally feel good. The righteous person will bound to influence you to do good deeds and Insya Allah you’ll benefit from it.

During the days of the Prophet (salAllahu alayhi wasalam), blacksmiths laboured for hours in a choking, smoky environment of extreme heat in order to design their desired object. In the company of the blacksmith one is permanently harmed by the heat or even the sparks resulting from the labour. This means one has adopted an evil habit from the one he keeps company. If not, then the very company of the blacksmith gives no relief to the conscience.

Guiding our children

When I selected this topic for tadabbur, it actually stemmed from what I have been pondering about since late last year. The backstory is my daughter is turning six this year, and if there are moms out there listening, you know this is THE Primary One registration year. Our education ministry says every school is a good school but in our minds I’m sure we also have some schools that we blacklist because they are notorious for being bad.

So while researching, I read a piece of writing by Ayatollah Ibrahim Amini who was a high ranking Iranian Islamic scholar. He wrote many books on issues including marital life, and bringing up children. Let me share a summarised version with you.

As grown ups we need friends, and we can know what kind of friends we want. Children also want friends, and at their young age they typically only choose a friend from their fellow classmates or the children they play with in the neighbourhood. Sometimes they may have acquaintances but no friends. Why they decide to choose a particular person as a friend we do not know but perhaps there is an affinity between them.

We cannot force them or stop them from being friends with anyone. The child must be free to make his own choice of friends. But this freedom will be with some conditions and restrictions:

The character and conduct of the friends will have to be observed by the parents before they permit the child to pick a friend. If a child selects a courteous and polite friend, he will definitely benefit by picking up his good habits. To the contrary, if the friend has undesirable habits then, naturally, the child will take to some of his bad habits. There are plenty of children and youths fallen into the morass of sin because of indiscreetly selecting bad friends.

Responsible and thoughtful parents will not be totally unconcerned with the type of friends their children cultivate. While the parents must know the type of friends a child has, they should not appear to be interfering in their personal matters.

If the parents can provide a good friend to their child, they have made a great contribution to his virtuous future. But this is not such an easy task. The best way is to acquaint the child with what is good, and what is not, when he comes to the age of understanding. They should explain to the child the defects that might be there in undesirable friends.

The parents must keep a subtle watch over the activities of the child and his friends from a distance. If they find that the friends are good, they must appreciate them. They should create opportunities for the child to meet such friends. But if they notice that the child has picked up an undesirable acquaintance, then they should discreetly try to cut this friendship short. If the child persists in such friendship, deal with the matter strictly.

The parents can help the child in making good friends by another method. They should pick children in their neighborhood with good behaviour, character and background. Create opportunities for the children to meet and react with one another. If they become friends, encourage them to cement the friendship. This way, even if there are some minor defects in their own child, they can be warded off in the company of good children.

For example, if a child is timid, he might overcome his timidity by being friends with a bold and courageous child.

The parents should not be totally oblivious of the type of friends their child has. Particularly when the child is on the threshold of youth. This will be the period in his life when habits take root. Any negligence on the part of the parents might result in irreparable harm to the character and conduct of the child, if he persists to be in bad company. They should remember the phrase: Prevention is better than cure!

You are the average of your friends

Have you heard the famous quote “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with”. Apparently it’s not true. According to a Framingham heart study, if a friend of your friend becomes obese, your likelihood of gaining weight increases by about 20 percent — even if you don’t know that friend of a friend. The effect continues one more person out. If a friend of the friend of your friend develops obesity, you are still 10 percent more likely than a random chance to gain weight as well. Your friends make you fat, but so do their friends, and so do their friends of friends.

While the researchers looked for a variety of explanations, the most likely one appears to be norms. If your friend is obese or a friend of a friend is obese, that changes your perception of what is an acceptable body size and your behavior changes accordingly. This is the same when they did a study on happiness. People who are surrounded by many happy people and those who are central in the network are more likely to become happy in the future.

So actually you’re not the average of the FIVE people you surround yourself with. It’s way bigger than that. You’re the average of all the people who surround you.

So this made me think that having good influence doesn’t just stop with friends, but also our surroundings. When we buy a house, do we intentionally choose to live in a good neighbourhood? As parents are we improving our own circle of friends to improve our child’s?

It’s a reminder for parents to make decisions wisely and purposefully.

Light Upon Light: A Collection of Letters on Life, Love and God

Been reading this 2018 book (gifted by my sis-in-law 💖) and amazed at how relatable it is to my life.

The author’s @fadhilahwahid thought process in the situations she faced made me feel as if we were the same person, yet her reflections and lessons learnt are MashaAllah – I’m ashamed to say I’m not there yet. 😔

Thanks for planting the seed in my mind of always asking: ‘What is Allah SWT trying to tell me?’ in every situation, good or bad. It’s these moments that teach us to be grateful for His hidden blessings.

Addiction to Busyness

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Assalamualaikum. Today, I want to share with you the 53rd verse from Surah An-Nahl (16:53) – “And whatever you have of favor – it is from Allah. Then when adversity touches you, to Him you cry for help.”

As humans, we often overlook that whatever blessings or wealth we have is from Allah. We think that if we work for what we want, we will definitely get it, be it wealth, success or even having children.

This is not to say we won’t be rewarded for the difficulties and hardships we face while looking into our own and our family’s needs with regards to wealth, as long as the work itself is not haram. But we should use it as a means to fulfill a goal, which is the worship of Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala, because spending hours working for the sake of acquiring extra wealth will only be at the cost of our ibadah to Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala.

As Muslims we should not justify our actions as “work is a form of ibadah”, when we forget the other important pillars and compulsory worship when doing so.

Eating with the intention of having strength for the sake of fulfilling acts of obedience to Allah, is a form of worship, but does it mean that eating becomes a major aspect of our lives? No.

Having sexual relations with your spouse, with the intention of keeping chaste and pure, is also considered worship but this does not mean that a person remains persistent in this matter, neglecting prayers, and other obligatory duties.

Similarly, striving in our job and seeking halal earnings, is all worship, but does it mean that we constantly engage ourselves in this, so much so that it hinders us from congregational prayers, our relationships with other people, learning about Islam and worshipping Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala?

For example, if one job is enough for you, there is no need for a second; if one shift suffices your needs, don’t take on another in overtime, and if you are able to cut the number of hours you work, don’t hesitate. This is intended for the self-employed and those who can control their hours. It is not meant by this that people should evade their duties at work, as this is Islamically impermissible.

Abu Huraira reported: The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Allah Almighty said: O son of Adam, busy yourself with my worship and I will fill your heart with riches and alleviate your poverty. If you do not do so, I will fill your hands with problems and never alleviate your poverty.”

The explanation of this in Fayd al-Qadir, a scholarly piece of work, is: “Free yourself of your interests in order to worship Me and do not busy yourself in earning that which exceeds your needs and the needs of those under your care.”

We have to beware that we do not busy ourselves in acquiring beyond what we need because in this way we will be establishing our worldly life but destroying our Hereafter.

It is a reminder for me, still running madly after the world and by so doing placing difficulties and hardships upon myself, embarking upon projects, one after the other, which I can possibly do without.

Even in the path of deen, act upon those things which are obligatory, before the acts that are good but not required. Obligatory actions are also of different levels of importance, so give preference to the most important of them first, and then to the next in importance. Only then move on to the good and recommended actions, giving precedence to that which is most important amongst them.

It is also recommended to start with yourself before inviting the members of your family on the path. Then, attend to your spouse, before your neighbour and your companions, so that they can help you in bringing up the children. Because they are the ones who will pray for you when you pass on.

At the end of the day, Islam is a practical religion. None of us have the leisure to sit around doing nothing all day, every day, and we must also not make being productive at every moment of every day as something to aim for. Our rezeki is in the hands of Allah. What’s in ours is to prioritise what will bring us to our end goal – which is Jannah – faster. May Allah have mercy on us all.

Sources: About Islam, Sunnah Online

Overcoming Fatigue

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Assalamualaikum wr wb. Let me start off this post by telling a story about Fatimah (AS), the daughter of Prophet Muhammad (SAW) and Ali, her husband.

Fatimah and Ali were known to be a hardworking couple. In the day, Fatimah kept her house as clean as possible such as sweeping the floor, washing the dishes and doing laundry. She also assisted her husband with his needs, fed the animals they owned and used to grind oats for flour. She also prays throughout the night from dusk to dawn.

One day Fatimah (AS), complained to her husband, Ali, about how tiring the house work has been on her. Her hands were getting very rough and she was physically getting really exhausted. Ali, told her: “Your father has received prisoners of war, so go to him and request one of them in order to provide us with support.”

At that time, it was a known practice that some prisoners of war could be sent to certain homes to serve them.

Upon knowing that, Fatimah went to her father’s house to explain the situation she was in and to notify him of the immense need of having some extra help at home. When Fatimah arrived to her father’s house Aisha, the wife of the prophet (SAW), opened the door and told Fatimah that her father was not home. Fatimah eventually told Aisha about the purpose of her visit and then she returned back home.

Not too long after that, the Prophet (SAW) came home and Aisha told him about Fatimah’s visit. The Prophet (SAW) upon hearing that, being the great father he is, went right away to the house of Fatimah and Ali.

Once he arrived, he sat with Fatimah and Ali and taught them this priceless du’a, found in Sahih Al-Bukhari.

Our Quran Journey – The Sunnah of Prophet Muhammad SAW

The Prophet (SAW) said to them: “ألا أدُلُكُمَا على خيرٍ ممَّا سأَلْتُمَا ؟” shall I not guide you and direct you to something better than what you have asked for?

“إِذَا أَوَيْتُمَا إِلَى فِرَاشِكُمَا” When you go to bed:
- “فَسَبِّحَا ثَلاَثًا وَثَلاَثِينَ” do tasbih 33 times (i.e. say SubhanAllah)
- “وَاحْمَدَا ثَلاَثًا وَثَلاَثِينَ” do hamd 33 times (i.e. say Alhamdulillah)
- “وَكَبِّرَا أَرْبَعًا وَثَلاَثِينَ” do takbir 34 times (i.e. say Allahu Akbar)
“فَهْوَ خَيْرٌ لَكُمَا مِنْ خَادِمٍ” for that is better for you than having a servant.

Some scholars further explained that you will then have more energy the following day as if you had a servant supporting you or that you wouldn’t be as tired or as exhausted while doing your daily work.

Ali said that he never went to bed afterwards without saying this du’a even during the toughest days of his life.

The Prophet (SAW) also used to make du’a: “O Allah! I seek refuge with You from helplessness, laziness, cowardice and feeble old age; I seek refuge with You from afflictions of life and death and seek refuge with You from the punishment in the grave.” (Sahih Al-Bukhari)

This brings me to Surah Al-Balad verse 4 whereby Allah SWT says “Indeed, We have created man (to live) in hard struggle”.

We will go through many hardships in the course of our life. Imagine, we were struggling even while coming out of our mother’s womb. Our struggles can be big or small, physically, mentally or both. In the case of Fatimah (AS), she was struggling to do the house work because she was simply exhausted. Similarly some of us may struggle to pray on time because we’re facing a crisis at work, or even just out of pure laziness.

Sometimes after eight hours of sleep, some of us still wake up feeling tired and lazy. But the truth about laziness is that it is mostly in our mind. Laziness is actually an action and we are almost always the culprits in letting that action take control of our minds. If it becomes a habit, or appears to span weeks or months, it may even be a sign of depression.

You’d think that working from home because of COVID-19 we’d be less tired because we don’t have to wake up early to travel to work. But it seems like time goes by faster at home. Some of us still have to cook lunch and dinner for our families and clean up the house more often since it’s 50% more untidy when everyone’s always home.

Narrated Abu Hurairah:

Allah’s Apostle said, “Satan puts three knots at the back of the head of any of you if he is asleep. On every knot he reads and exhales the following words, ‘The night is long, so stay asleep.’

“When one wakes up and remembers Allah, one knot is undone; and when one performs ablution, the second knot is undone, and when one prays the third knot is undone and one gets up energetic with a good heart in the morning; otherwise one gets up lazy and with a mischievous heart.”

The Prophet said that the People of Paradise will only regret one thing: not having made enough dhikr (remembrance of Allah) in the world.

Even when we’re tired, we are told to remember and give thanks to Allah for the blessing of fatigue.

Narrated Abu Sa’id Al-Khudri and Abu Huraira: “The Prophet said, ‘No fatigue, nor disease, nor sorrow, nor sadness, nor hurt, nor distress befalls a Muslim, even if it were the prick he receives from a thorn, but that Allah expiates some of his sins for that‘ [Bukhari].

So next time you decide to snooze your alarm for Subuh prayers or you decide to sit at home all day and binge watch on Netflix, think about these tips that the Sunnah has provided us. Insha’Allah you can do something to stop your fatigue or laziness and get up and do something good for yourself and others.

The Clear Quran

I recently acquired – ok bought – The Clear Quran: A Thematic English Translation of the Message of the Final Revelation after recommendations by the other girls of OQJ. The version I have is the hardcover copy with English translation and Arabic text.

Truth be told, I already have 3 different copies of the Al-Quran at home, so why another one right?

After reading The Clear Quran, I am particularly amazed at the translated verses and how easy it is to comprehend what they mean. In other books, I felt that some of the tenses and vocabulary used were archaic, for example, ‘thy’, ‘hath’ and ‘behold’.

I don’t speak Arabic (except in reading the Quran), but it is said that as a Semitic language, it has words that have meanings and nuances that do not easily translate into English. It can be almost impossible for translators, who are not masters of both English and Arabic, to reflect the Arabic style, rhythms, and figures of speech 100% accurately.

To achieve accuracy, the translator of The Clear Quran (Dr Mustafa Khattab) has made use of the greatest and most celebrated works of old and modern tafsir (Quran commentaries), and shared the work with several Imams in North America for feedback and insight. For clarity, every effort has been made to select easy to understand words and phrases that reflect the beauty, flow, and power of the original text. Along with informative footnotes and surah (chapter) introductions, verses have been grouped and titled based on their themes for a better understanding of the chapters, their main concepts, and internal coherence.
Source: Wardah Books

I really like the themed verses in The Clear Quran as the breaking up of verses gives a clearer picture of the lessons to be learnt as I am reading. The footnotes also provide more context to the terms and references mentioned in the Quran.

You will also be relieved to know that this translation has been officially approved by Al-Azhar University and endorsed by ISNA and the Canadian Council of Imams.

Although it does not have transliteration of the verses and the tajweed rules, I have been seeing myself go back to this Quran more often than my other ones, especially for Tadabbur if I need better understanding of the verses in the Quran.

I do believe everyone should own a copy of The Clear Quran. It is available at Wardah Books in Pocket size, Paperback, Flexicover and Hardback.

May Allah SWT ease our affairs in learning the sacred verses of the Quran. InshaaAllah.

In the month of July, OQJ is also hosting a mini book giveaway of The Clear Quran, kindly sponsored by Real Estate Dad. To win a copy, head to Our Quran Journey’s Instagram for more details.

Of Knowledge and Power

Dhul-Qarnayn – Al-Kahf – Our Quran Journey

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The fourth parable that Allah Almighty mentions in Surah Al-Kahf is the story of a great king during the sixth century BC named Dhul-Qarnayn who travelled all across the world to help the people who were in need and spread good wherever he went.

Vast Empire

Allah SWT gave him a very vast kingdom and he ruled his kingdom very well. People loved and obeyed him.

Dhul-Qarnayn hated injustice. He was a just ruler and treated everyone fairly. In his journey to the west, he found some people. Allah gave him the option to treat them badly or be kind. The king responded “Whoever does wrong will be punished by us, then will be returned to their Lord, Who will punish them with horrible torment. As for those who believe and do good, they will have the finest rewards (in Jannah), and we will assign them easy commands.”

In his journey to the east, he found the sun rising on people who had no shelter from it. They either had no clothes or homes to protect them from the sun. Even after conquering a major part of the then inhabited world, Dhul-Qarnayn had lost none of his humility. He gave the entire credit of his feats to the blessings of Allah.

A great ruler or leader is careful of the safety of his subjects. He did not take this ‘amanah’ from Allah for granted and he travelled around to know what is happening to his people in his kingdom.

The Iron Wall

On his third course, Dhul-Qarnayn reached a pass between two mountains. He found a tribe of people who could not understand his language – what it probably means here is that they were cut off from civilisation so they had their own way of communicating with each other. They pleaded to the king to build a wall to block off the people of Gog and Magog who were spreading corruption throughout the land. The tribe wanted to pay the king to help them erect a barrier. Being a pious ruler, Dhul-Qarnayn responded “what my lord has provided for me is far better”. So he did not ask for anything in exchange for his help, instead, he asked the tribe to supply their own people for the task. Blocks of iron and molten copper were used to erect the iron wall which the enemies could neither scale nor tunnel through it. The iron wall closed the gap between the mountains and Gog and Magog did not trouble the mountain people again. After building the iron wall, Dhul-Qarnayn said: “This is a mercy from my lord. But when the promise of my lord comes to pass, he will level it to the ground. And my lord’s promise is ever true.”

In this parable, we learn that true believers always remain humble even after performing a great feat. The lesson to be learnt from this story is that power is also a gift from Allah and to those whom He gives power; He tests them by doing so.

Some people may get drunk on power and become disrespectful of others, like for example the most ruthless ruler Firaun. When people have the power to abuse or opress, they can lose control of their senses much like someone who is intoxicated.

Dhul-Qarnayn clearly overcame the fitnah of power by deferring to the code of justice established by Allah, the AL-‘ADL or The Just.

So the way to deal with the fitnah of power is to have sincerity in your deeds to Allah, as it was mentioned in verse 103-104:

Say, ˹O Prophet,˺ “Shall we inform you of who will lose the most deeds? ˹They are˺ those whose efforts are in vain in this worldly life, while they think they are doing good!
Surah Al-Kahf (18:103-104)

There is also a du’a in Surah Al-Imran that you can recite praising Allah’s infinite power:

“Say, O Lord, King of Kings. You give rulership to whom you will and take it away from whom you please. You raise up who you will and cast down whoever you will. All that is good lies in your hands. You have the power to will anything.”
Surah Al-Imran (3:26)

Power creates ego and self-pride in a man. Abu Huraira r.a. reported, The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “The strong are not those who defeat people. Rather, the strong are those who defeat their ego.”

A believer couldn’t be an egoistic person. This story is a lesson to all powerful people whose power couldn’t even reach to what Allah has given to Dhul-Qarnayn and yet he was a humble soul and submissive to Allah for what he had.

Personally, I can’t really relate because I’m not a person of power. But the first person I think of is Donald Trump and how he is everything Dhul-Qarnayn is not. Trump seems drunk on power and he thinks what he is doing is the best for America, but I don’t think anyone here agrees.

I guess on the other end of the stick, as regular people with not much or no power, we should choose to be on the side of just and kind leaders so that we will not transgress into corruption or sin of unscrupulous leaders.

Killing our ego is also another point that we can learn from. We can learn to use criticism constructively to kill our ego. Every time we make a mistake and repent and make amends, we are diminishing our ego. Especially for us ladies, every time we scold ourselves, for falling into gossip or vain talk about other people, we are throwing aside our ego.

May Allah SWT bless us with the strength and humility to use the abilities He has bestowed upon us to help those in need, much like the great King Dhul-Qarnayn. InshaaAllah.

Spending Responsibly

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Intro to Surah Al-Furqan

Al-Furqan means The Criterion. The Qur’an has been called Al-Furqan because it is the Criterion for judging right and wrong, virtue and vice, truth and falsehood.

The first part of the Surah deals with the doubts and objections that were being raised against the Qur’an, the Prophethood of Muhammad (peace be upon him) and his teachings by the disbelievers of Makkah.

In it, answers to each and every objection have been given and the people have been warned of the consequences of rejecting the Truth. Actually even today, when Non-Muslims mock and question the Quran, Nabi Muhammad (SAW), or the Sunnah, this Surah can help us to answer these questions and to see how we can talk to them.

In the 2nd part of the surah (in particular verse 63-75), the Quran tells us a couple of qualities of true servants of Allah.

Being Humble – “And the servants of the Most Gracious are those who walk upon the earth in humility“.
Forbearing or Patient – “and when the ignorant address them [harshly], they say [words of] peace”. So for example when someone makes fun of them, insults them or hurts them, they don’t strike back or seek revenge. They forgive and overlook.
Devotion in Tahajjud – “And those who spend [part of] the night to their Lord prostrating and standing [in prayer]”. The true servants of Allah pass their nights in worshipping and remembering Him as much as they can.
Fear of Allah’s Punishment – Those who say, “Our Lord, avert from us the wrath of Hell. Indeed, its punishment is a grievous affliction. Evil indeed is it as an abode, and as a place to rest in.” For true servants of Allah, Hellfire is not a theoretical concept, but a reality.
Moderation – “Those who, when they spend, are not extravagant and not miserly, but hold a balance between those extremes.“
Doesn’t sin – “And those who do not invoke with Allah, any other god, or kill the soul which Allah has forbidden [to be killed], except by right, and do not commit unlawful sexual intercourse. And whoever should do that will meet a penalty. Multiplied for him is the punishment on the Day of Resurrection, and he will abide therein in ignominy or humiliation.“
Tawbah – “Except for those who repent, believe and do righteous work. For them Allah will replace their evil deeds with good. And ever is Allah Forgiving and Merciful. And he who repents and does righteousness does indeed turn to Allah with [accepted] repentance.“
Doesn’t lie – “And [they are] those who do not testify to falsehood. The Prophet s.a.w.s. said: I guarantee a house in the surroundings of Paradise for a man who avoids quarrelling even if he were in the right, a house in the middle of Paradise for a man who avoids lying even if he were joking, and a house in the upper part of Paradise for a man who made his character good.“
Steer away from evil conversation – “and when they pass near ill speech, they pass by with dignity”. Here what it means is The true servants do not take part in gossip or obscenity or foul language, even if they overhear or chance upon it as an observer they would walk away.
Accept guidance – “And those who, when reminded of the verses of their Lord, do not fall upon them deaf and blind”. The true servants of Allah do not behave like the blind and the deaf towards the Revelations of Allah when they are recited to them for their admonition. They do not turn a deaf ear to their teachings and Message and do not deliberately close their eyes to the Signs that they are asked to observe, but are deeply moved by them. They follow and practice what they are enjoined and refrain from what is forbidden.
Turning to Allah – The most distinctive characteristic of the true servants is their eagerness for prayer to Allah. In verse 65 their “prayer” for their own salvation and in verse 74 their prayer for their wives and children have been cited: “Our Lord, make our wives and children true believers so that they should practice righteousness and become a source of comfort for us.” Their prayer shows that the true servants of Allah are more concerned about the salvation of their beloved ones in the Hereafter than the enjoyment of the world.

There are many other verses in the Quran itself that tell us what kind of qualities we should strive to have to attain Jannah.

Focus on Moderation – Verse 25:67

Today, I want to focus on number 5 – moderation.

Allah SWT also says in surah Al-A’raf verse 31:

O children of Adam, take your adornment at every masjid, and eat and drink, but be not excessive. Indeed, He likes not those who commit excess. [7:31]

According to Islam extravagance is:

To spend even the smallest amount of money in unlawful ways,
to go beyond one’s own resources in expenditure even in lawful ways, or to spend money for one’s own pleasure, and
to spend money in righteous ways not for the sake of Allah but for mere show.

On the other hand, someone is miserly if he does not spend money for his own needs and requirements and those of his family in accordance with his resources and position, or if he does not spend money for doing good.

Personally, I used to always browse shopping apps on the train to work, or before going to sleep, or even just waiting for a parcel delivery every other day. There was never a night I wasn’t browsing on shopping apps.

Doesn’t help that ZALORA, FashionValet or ASOS keep sending emails and notifications every other hour about another offer. And the thing is, I was well aware of this addiction.

Like, is there still room in my wardrobe for another dress or top? Do I need so many shoes? Do I need so many tudungs? I always have these thoughts, but every time I still hit checkout. Or in some cases try to justify my buying.

But the light at the end of this is: Somehow, once I started growing closer to Allah SWT, by his grace, these urges stopped. Instead of browsing online shops, I’m listening to khutbahs, or talks. Doing something more meaningful with my time.

Now I think back about all the money I spent, could that money instead be used for sadaqah?

I think I’m still a bit poor on giving to charity, either with money or time, but I believe other forms of sadaqah, like treating friends and family to a meal, or sharing food with neighbours are charitable deeds as well.

Debt and Loans

Sometimes in order to buy what we want, we use credit cards or instalment plans. Sometimes we hear of people who own luxurious cars or stay in big houses, and we think of them as rich. But we may not know the actual story. Those luxuries may be paid by credit card, so in a way they are accumulating a lot of debt as they are spending without any cash.

Personally, I had one experience with debt that made me really avoid it at all cost.

A few years back I think around 2012, some of us here had to work and study part-time. So university fees as you know are not cheap. So I took a DBS Cashline loan (don’t do it, it’s a trap) of about $4000. You may think it’s only $4000, but do you know how much I ended up paying the bank? Almost $10,000 with interest. It took me 4 years to clear the debt using money from every bonus I had. After I closed the account I was really relieved of this burden.

In the hadith it said Our Prophet, Nabi Muhammad (PBUH) did take loans from time to time. But in general he was wary of it. He used to make a lot of dua against incurring overburdening debts. Here is the du’a:

اللَّهُمَّ اكْفِنِي بِحَلاَلِكَ عَنْ حَرَامِكَ وَأَغْنِنِي بِفَضْلِكَ عَمَّنْ سِوَاكَ

O Allah [Allahumma] Suffice me with that which is lawful against that which is prohibited. [ikfinee bihalalika an haraamik] and make me independent of all those besides You [Wa aghninee bifadlika am-man siwaak]

In this, we ask Allah Ta’ala to help us pay off our debt using lawful and permissible avenues and not through impermissible resources. And to make us dependent on Allah and no one else.

Du’a for Sustenance

There’s also one more du’a I want to share. This is the du’a to give sustenance, found in Surah Al-Imran verse 26-27:

“O Allah! Lord of power and rule, You give the power to whom You please, You take away the power from whom You please; You give honour whom You please, You humiliate whom You please; all the good is in Your authority. Surely, You have power over everything. You make the night into the day and You make the day into the night. You bring out the living from the dead and You bring out the dead from the living. You give sustenance to whom You please without limit.” (3:26-27)

As we mentioned in our very first podcast, to ask for Allah’s help is to be grateful first so this verse is to encourage gratitude to Allah so that InshaAllah he will answer our prayers and increase our rezeki. InshaaAllah.

Kinship and Family (Silat ur-Rahim)

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Introduction to Surah An-Nisa

Surah An-Nisa deals largely with women’s rights and the principles for the smooth running of family life and ways to settle family disputes.

Rules have been prescribed for marriage and rights of wife and husband have been allocated fairly and impartially. It also laid down the status of women in the society and the rights of orphans. It also teaches us the laws and regulations for the division of inheritance.

If you read the tafsir, it teaches Muslims the ways that unite a people and make them firm and strong to overcome the enemies of Islam who were hatching plots against Nabi Muhammad and the Muslim Community even at Al-Madinah. It is saying that it starts with a strong family foundation.

Islam places great importance on maintaining family relations. The first verse of An-Nisa says:

“O mankind, fear your Lord who created you from a single soul, and from it created its mate, and spread many men and women from the two. Be careful of your duty toward Allah in whose name you ask each other (for your rights), and fear (the violation of the rights of) the womb-relations. Surely, Allah is watchful over you.” – 4:1

And Allah said this in first-person, not through our prophet.

In the HADITH QUDSI it is reported that Allah said:

‘I Am Ar-Rahman. I created the RAHAM (womb) and derived a name for it from My Name. Hence, whoever keeps it (the family ties), I will keep ties to him, and whoever severs it, I will sever ties with him.’.

So the act of maintaining family ties is an obligation in the Islamic faith. This is to have good relations with one’s relatives, to love, respect and help them.

But what if relatives are not good to you?

The Holy Prophet said “Do not ever sever your relationship with a member of your family even if he severs his relationship with you.”

Cherishing blood ties is not observed in anticipation of reciprocation; but the ties should be maintained for Allah’s sake only, even if this is done from one side only, and overlooking the behavior of the other side in return.

So there’s no need to point fingers saying he or she did it first, that’s why I do the same.

The Messenger ﷺ openly states that

Regardless of their behavior you should visit them;
Regardless of their detachment, you should maintain your ties;
Regardless of their offensiveness, you should reward them with forbearance,
And most importantly, never cease to include in your duʿa’ that Allah grants them a change of heart; for all the hearts are between his fingers, and He flips them as he wills.

The Holy Prophet also said: “He who wishes that his sustenance be increased for him and his death day be delayed, then he should maintain good relations with his kin.”

Severing family ties is considered one of the grave sins, which will not be forgiven except through a sincere tawba (repentance), the kind of tawba which involves other people’s rights, meaning that you need to mend things with them and seek their pardon so that your tawba may be accepted by Allah, the Merciful and Oft-forgiving.

Twice in the Quran, Allah severely warned those who cut off their blood relationships and family ties. Severing one’s blood ties is far from a trivial choice. It is an evil that may hinder you from entering Paradise.

Personal Reflection

Personally in my family, I have this uncle who hasn’t been showing up for Hari Raya for a long time since I was in secondary school. And one of the reasons was because he was upset with the rest of his siblings for visiting my first uncle. There was a long history of them at loggerheads, and that my first uncle chased this estranged uncle around the kampung for who knows what. Just imagine, he has been holding this grudge since kampung days. My first uncle is already so skinny and frail now.

Regrettably, the last I saw my estranged uncle was at my funeral of my late grandmother. I don’t think he talked to anyone either. Only his wife and children talked to us.

I feel this is the kind of mindset that is sad and pointless – to hold on to grudges until your old age. So I think even when we disagree with each other, we can agree to disagree respectfully. And it’s better to ask for forgiveness from each other as soon as possible instead of dragging it out. You know how the longer you wait to say sorry, the harder it gets.

Ways to Enhance your Relationships

Here are ways for us to fortify our ties and strengthen our bonds with our kinsmen:

Arrange frequent visits with those who live close by, on a bi-weekly basis if they are in the same town or on a yearly basis at least if they reside overseas, depending on a person’s abilities. But always remember, the least you can do nowadays is to open your e-mail software and write to them how much your heart yearns for them and that they are not at all forgotten. Otherwise, pick up the phone and tell them how much you love them and cannot wait to visit with them. Little things can make a big difference.
In a family gathering, do not let the opportunity pass you by to clear up all misunderstandings, and do show all of your relatives your love and concern.
When conversing with them, take interest in what they have to say, even if it is not your cup of tea. Listen to their concerns, and help them if you can, and at least give them hope and your prayers—for sincere prayers, reassurance and love are worth much more than anything else.
Have respect for all elderly people in your family, be all ears when they are telling their stories and try to learn from their past experiences.
Bring joy to family gatherings by creating an atmosphere of fun, sharing jokes or even getting a bit playful at times—but always within the limits of decency and without hurting anyone’s feelings.
Be there for them, and offer to help in every way you can.

Many good deeds bear fruit that will not be seen until the Hereafter. But keeping good family relations is something that will benefit you immediately, by making this life a lot happier, lighter, more pleasant and more rewarding. Most importantly, Allah will reward us generously for every smile, every hug, every act of generosity, every phone call, e-mail or letter, every word of encouragement, every suppression of anger, and every instance of forgiveness towards your family members. Who can afford to be deprived of such an immense reward? Do not allow yourself to be of those who sever what Allah has ordered to be joined.